A Halloween Special

As I mentioned a few times before, I have been struggling with my class of first years at the university. They tend to have a short attention span and many of them act disruptively. Last time it got so bad that I literally wanted to leave the classroom. Since today is the most important day of the year, Halloween, I planned a special lesson that included a listening passage about American Halloween traditions, us all creating a spooky story together, a make-believe college Halloween party, and a screening of Michael Jackson’s class, Thriller.

I thought this all sounded like a lot of fun, but I was really nervous that the students would not respond well and not cooperate. I was extra nervous since I put more heart than usual into planning this. At first, my concerns proved to be valid; I walked into the classroom a bit early to set up, and it was full but many students simply left, without so much as an excuse. One of the guys who left tried to provide some flimsy reasoning, but it was such a lame excuse that I literally felt like he was mocking me. I know these kids are mostly just irresponsible and do not care about improving their English skills so I should not take it personally, but this time I did. I did not say anything, but I felt physically ill and had to sit down for a few minutes before starting the lesson (which now had significantly less students).

Despite my initial discouragement, I pulled it together. I focused on the fact that the kids who were in the room are the ones who are serious about learning and they are worthy of my full attention. So I kicked off the lesson and was amazed at how responsive and engaged my students were.

They listened in total silence as I explained Halloween to them, and were clearly paying attention based on the comprehension questions I followed up with and really wanted to know more about Halloween. They also avidly participated in creating the communal story, with almost every student contributing a piece. It was the best class I had with this group so far, and I hope it will be the stepping stone for many more. If nothing else it renewed my faith in this group and in my own ability to capture  their attention and come up with activities they enjoy. It felt good to know that a good number of my students really do care, because really that is my only requirement as a teacher.

In addition to having a successful class, I felt like I connected with my students today. They told me what was going on in their lives, I sympathized, they asked me about my Halloween plans, we talked about costumes… it was awesome. And it’s moments like this that make all the research, planning, and struggles absolutely worth it.

Happy Halloween!

Greener Pastures

I spent this weekend in the beautiful city of Qusar (pronounced “Gusar”), in northern Azerbaijan. It was on organized trip for Azeri alums of DOS programs, but since we knew someone on the trip who actually is an alumni, my friend and fellow Fulbrighter were able to tag along.

I could not be more pleased. We stayed in a resort called Qusar Park, which is an absolutely stunning place consisting of individual cabins. There we four of us in the cottage-style cabin, which was completely renovated, spacious, and beautifully decorated. The fact that it overlooked the gorgeous mountain range.

It was incredibly rejuvenating to breath the fresh, crisp mountain air. To take full advantage of stunning scenery and enjoy the clean air, my friends and I spent the first day wandering around. On our trek we saw sheep, cows, and even ran into some guys who pulled up at the side of the mountain to listen to opera and drink beer.

The next day was spent planting trees, as part of the environmental project that was the reason for this trip. It was really fun to dig and plant new trees, and it would be cool to visit again in a few months and see what happened with them.

Overall, the trip was a huge success. I was so pleased to finally get to know a different facet of Azerbaijan and am now looking forward to visiting more regions and truly getting to know the culture of this unique country.

A Long, Satisfying Day

Today was the first really full day I’ve had in a while, and I feel more energetic than ever so of course I have to blog about it. 

I left my house at 8am to go to my university’s other building, building #4 as they call it, to start Azeri lessons. Much to my shock (and initial detriment), I was dropped into a class that had already started a few weeks ago, so I was the only person who knew 0% Azeri. Of course, the teacher did not speak a word of English, so the only way for us to communicate was in Russian. Now, my Russian is just OK; I can talk about where I live, what I like to do, what my favorite things are, real basic stuff. So trying to figure out Azeri grammar was… phew… but I understood enough that I got what was going on (thanks, Professor Dubinina). It’s certainly going to be an interesting endeavor. Thank G-d for my knowing Arabic, since there are a lot of cognates (or rather words borrowed from Arabic). I am really pumped about learning Azeri, anyways, because it very similar to Turkish so knowing it will bring me closer to my goal of mastering the holy trinity: Arabic, Turkish, and Persian. 

After class, I sort of got lost on my way back to the main campus. And by sorta I mean mad lost. But, here’s the awesome part, I was able to make my way back. It took a while, and some help from my colleagues, but I did not do the fraidy-cat-foreinger thing and take a cab. I bussed it all the way through. It was very empowering. 

Later on, I went to volunteer at the American Center. My class there went awesome. Almost everyone participated in the group discussion and complied with the pair task I gave them; we even had a few laughs about it. In the last 15 minutes I started the project I promised them: a blog about Azerbaijan to expose Americans to information about the South Caucasian nation. I am really excited for this project to take off. 

All in all, it’s been a good day. And now, lights out. 

He who seeks pe…

He who seeks pearls must dive deep

Azeri proverb and my pretentious moment of the day. 

The Things I learn as a Teacher

Last week my first year students expressed a desire to dedicate the following lesson to Azeri culture. Hoping to get them really engaged and out of their shells (they speak Azeri like 70% of the time because they feel uncomfortable using English) I agreed. It would also be a good opportunity for me to hear new perspectives on the topic, which is always a plus.

So I started out the lesson by asking them a general question about national symbols of Azerbaijan. Quickly the conversation turned from an innocent discussion of food and crafts to a politically charged discussion when one student talked about Tabriz as part of Azerbaijan.

“Wait,” I asked, “you mean Tabriz in Iran?”

The student and his peers went into a long discussion of why northern Iran is actually southern Azerbaijan. I was very glad to see them turn away from their phones and stop the chatter in Azeri to try and convince me of the rightousness of their case. It definitely made for interesting discussion content wise, as well. Being a Middle East nerd I had heard about the so-called “Southern Azerbaijan” issue and even tried to research it myself, but had a hard time locating materials (if anyone reading this has recommendations I’d be delighted to hear ’em!). It would be interesting to learn if the Iranian-Azerbaijanis actually have any seperatist dreams. From the Azerbaijan proper side the view is complicated; they certainly feel strong kinship with the  Iranian-Azerbaijanis and see the Tabriz region as part of historic Azerbaijan but it is unclear whether or not they have hopes of reclaiming the territory. From what my students say they seemed to ahve resigned to the current situation and I highly doubt the government would risk conflict with Iran over this issue, but the nationalist sentiment is certainly there.

After concluding that discussion, I asked “well, since we’re on the topic of historical events, what else can you tell me, what do I need to know about the history of Azerbaijan?”

Naturally the first thing that came up was the Nagaorny-Karabakh War. One of the students started to state: “the Armenians is…”

“are. they ARE.” I corrected.

“no, I should say ‘it'” he said.

“When referring to plurals, Armenians, Americans, puppies… use are.” I said, trying to bring it back to the grammar.

I already knew that the hatred runs deep, but I was hoping to at least try and get them to think critically about their emotions. I really want to leave here with the thought that I got the next generation of potential leaders thinking about old issues differently (I’m a dreamer, I know). Therefore, I asked, “do you really thinl all Aremnians are bad?”

“My brother met an Armenian guy in Georgia and they talked and became friends.” A girl said, to my astonishment and delight. A lot of the class made disapproving sounds, so I had to applaud the girl for her courage, which also shows a glimmer of hope. Things here can change, even if it’s one person at a time. Her story also shows the importance of person-to-person diplomacy and interactions. Maybe it’s time for the international community to invest a little in efforts that would allow Armenians and Azeris to communicate and put a human face to the other side. That won’t solve the conflict, which requires a political solution, but it might give the people hope and create a popular desire for peace.

First World Problems

Anyone who considers themselves my friend knows I’m obsessed with French macaroons. I love them so much I have gone to extraordinary lengths to get my hands on good macaroons including journeying 6 NY blocks, with my suitcase, and nagging my friend who has a car to take me to a specialized store that was 20-30 minutes away…

Naturally, therefore, before going to Azerbaijan I checked to see if there were any to be found in Baku. Google maps said nay, much to my disappointment. Imagine my surprise when I randomly saw pictures of macaroons outside some store I drove past while in a taxi; I was determined to find it. But I failed miserably. I even saw it a second time from a taxi; it was as though the macaroons were taunting me.

Today one of my Azeri friends was kind enough to take me to the place. I would have never found it by myself, so it was really nice to have people with me who speak the local language and are capable of getting directions. I thus had the pleasure of introducing my friends to the marvel that is French macaroons.

Everything is Awesome

This morning I was in a bad, bad mood over some recent political developments in the Middle East (always an upsetting topic these days). When I got to work, I found a cookie on my desk. It was a gift from one of my colleagues, something her mom had made for the holiday (Kurban Bayran or Eid al-Adha in Arabic). It was so sweet and thoughtful, and it reminded me of all the awesome things about being here.

You see, being abroad has a flip side. Sure, there are the bad days, but then there are days that are simply amazing. When you encounter so much kindness from strangers, some of whom don’t even really speak your language, but they are good to you anyway. That gives me faith in humanity.

I was also invited to watch my university’s team play a volleyball match; it was great! Tons of students and staff showed up to cheer on our team, and I was definitely feeling the spirit! It was exhilarating and fun, also something different to do with my spare time.

I even had a good class today; the students complied with the assignments I gave them, and some even seemed interested in what we were doing. In fact, they requested a topic for next class, showing that they DO care about what’s going on. And they said they wanted me there, which until now I was not so sure about. I actually felt like I am making a positive difference.

The university is supporting my Halloween party efforts. There’s an actual plan in motion for a party, with food, activities, and everything. And students are enthusiastic about it.

I had a great idea for an English course I want to pitch, which is also exciting. I even found soy sauce in my local supermarket!

And this stuff is all just from today. So yeah, sometimes things feel terrible. But other times, they feel like this- awesome. The good things remind me of why I came here in the first place- to make an impact, to help, even if I reach one person, if i help one student be good enough at English to get a job or study abroad, that’s all that matters.

Also, the local food is pretty kickass. And I am not easy to please when it comes to cuisine.

Everything Is Terrible

This afternoon I was in a hurry to go and meet someone, so I took a taxi. I told him in 100% correct Russian where I wanted to go, but he drove to the wrong place and took a really long time to get there, which of course was on my dime. Finally he stops and the fair was 3.01; I handed him a 10, and he gave me back 6 AZN. I demanded my extra manat, but he acted like suddenly he didn’t know Russian. Something about that experience really pushed me over the edge. I got out, cursed at him in English and slammed the door.

Truthfully, I am tired of being jipped here. People know I am foreign and they take advantage of that, which is repugnant. It is also counter to what I have experienced with people in my social life, who are hospitable and generous, and want strangers to have a favorable opinion about Azerbaijan.

More than anything I believe I snapped because it is so difficult to be a foreigner, anywhere really. The language barrier creates a massive communication problem, which lends to a lot of stress and frustration. People with good English are hard to find, and my Russian is not good enough to get slightly more complicated ideas across. There is a ton of bureaucracy to deal with as a foreign citizen; I don’t know what it’s like in other countries, but here they require registration, which calls for many documents to be submitted, they even had my passport for nearly 2 weeks. Discussing politics or ideology inevitably brings out the cultural differences and can be very, very challenging. The isolation and distances from beloved family members and friends add to the mix. Even little things like not being able to find soy sauce contribute, because they underline the fact that I am alone in a strange land.

Some things that get to me are country-specific. Teaching is difficult because the education culture is so different from what I am used to. And street harassment, street harassment is a huge problem here- more on that in another post, it’s really a standalone topic because it’s so terrible.

All these things add up and really cause a lot of tension. Although today was the first time I publicly expressed my anger, I have been crying at least once a week ever since I got here and occasionally I punch my mattress. Anyone who has ever been abroad for a long stretch of time knows that it can get to you, the big and little things that are that much harder to deal with because you don’t know the system, you’re unfamiliar with the institutions, you don’t know where to find things, and because you’re alone. Anyone who has lived abroad knows that feeling when you just feel like everything is terrible, even though it really is not.

Honestly, most of my experience here has been positive. The people I work with are inclusive and genuinely want to make this a good time for me; they want me to love Azerbaijan. My apartment is pretty nice and close to work, which is super convenient. I have friends, really cool friends. I have access to the internet, running water, and electricity.

But some days, being foreign just gets the best of me. I suppose that is one of the things I came here to learn- how to deal with that kind of pressure, how to be more resilient. In my struggles, I am inspired by Woodrow Wilson’s words: “the difference between a strong man and a weak one is that the former does not give up after a defeat.”

Azerbaifun

Picture this: you walk into a smoke-filled bar, there’s a big table in the center made of unrefined wood. Across from the table is a band, with a depressed looking lead singer. On one side there’s a drunk 40-something-years-old Russian dude rocking out to Metallica. There’s a guy running around with roses, a group of guys in suites, and some dude in a vest who keeps trying to dance with every group of friends in the bar. Sound like a potential Macklemore song?

Well, what I just described are vignettes from Baku nightlife.

Going out culture here is both similar and very different from what I am accustomed to as an American. On the one hand, bars and clubs do exist. The bars I have frequented serve the same drinks one might find in a typical bar in the US; there is even an Irish pub to be found. But the crowds are where things diverge. Whereas in the US there is often an age-based division, with certain bars being more geared towards young adult and others for “real” grown-ups, here age is not a factor. Furthermore, many clubs are attended entirely by men, no ladies. And no, they are no gay bars, it’s because most local women do not go out at night (more on that another time). Most of those frequenting bars are expats

Most of those frequenting bars are expats, since locals often prefer house parties to going out. No one has been quite able to explain why, but it’s interesting. Not that we do not throw parties in the US, but people also like going out whereas here they kind of don’t. Maybe it’s because the bars are not so great and filled with almost exclusively men (and hookers).

All in all, it’s not bad. Definitely a lot of work can be done to make nightlife more exciting. It might even be a good investment; although locals are not super into going out to bars and clubs, there is a big enough expat population in Baku who are looking for more in the way of nightlife.

The Day I Became Ambassador

For a while now it has been my dream to join the US foreign service, My studies and experiences abroad have opened my eyes to the depth of misconception about Americans and how catastrophic this ignorance can be. I became convinced of the importance of people-to-people diplomacy and mutual education to eliminating this hate-breeding ignorance. It’s a really simple concept on paper, but one that I have based my hopes on. By getting a Fulbright I essentially had my wish come true. In addition to teaching English, I am in effect a representative of the United States in Azerbaijan.

Well, turns out playing diplomat is really, really hard. Many of the people I meet have either never met an American or never really got to know one. This means I have to set the bar pretty high. It also means that to these guys I am an authority about all things American, and they really don’t hesitate to take on the tough questions.

Today I led a discussion with a new group. I wanted to test out their English level so I started out with simple introductions and then asked them about topics they wanted to discuss in future sessions. They started out with simple enough things- literature, TV shows, sports… but then it got more heavy- politics, international relations, democracy. Upon hearing that I was excited. I was glad to have the opportunity to hear what these folks think about all these issues. But I was caught off guard.

A woman asked me, out of the blue, what I think about America’s quest to spread democracy in the world. Well, there’s an easy one for starters.

“I don’t know,” I said, not wanting to jump into a long explanation of how complicated this question is even for Americans and preferring to have them practice speech, “what do you think?”

Of course she thought it was unfair, and that we should butt out of other people’s business. Everyone at the table seemed to agree. Now they demanded my opinion in return. I explained why some people in America think spreading democracy should be on our agenda, but agreed that democracy does not work everywhere; in fact, I told them that many Americans would agree. But that was not enough, next I was asked what I think about foreigners being influenced by an American education.

One person argued that our education is subversive and we make people believe in freedom and democracy. He went further to say that it was people educated by Americans that led the Arab Spring in Libya and Egypt. Now that I have a problem with. First of all, saying that means stripping away the ability of the people in these countries to think for themselves; yeah, the Libyans ousted Gaddafi because some Americans told them democracy is dope, not because he was a horrible and corrupt dictator who ruined their lived. Oh, and yeah, some Egyptian dudes went to college in the US and thought it would be awesome to start a revolution cause their professors said something, nothing to do with Mubarak leaving millions unemployed while torturing members of the opposition. Second, I am tired of American being blamed for literally anything that ever happens anywhere ever. We have out share of blame, but it’s not 100% of the blame pie.

It was a challenging conversation to have. I can see why these folks are interested in the topic, a lot of people around the world are very curious about foreign policy. But it is difficult for me to stand there and try to explain everything, especially since the ideas are complex and they are not native English speakers so I fear a lot of what I’m saying is getting lost in translation.

This particular conversation was not what I would call productive; I am hoping to start over next time and establish some ground rules about discussion. Mainly, I want it to be clear that these sessions are a safe space and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but that belligerence is not accepted; opinions must be expressed respectfully. Setting the stage for mutually respectful debates, however, might be the greatest challenge of all. It was difficult enough to get American university students to adhere to such conventions, I can only imagine what it would be like to explain this to people who are not fluent in English.

Ultimately, I have to remind myself that this is precisely the kind of challenge I sought in coming here.  What better way to forge a diplomat?